Lupin Smiled

Peacetime

“He had never fallen in love before. If it had happened in peacetime, Remus would have simply taken himself off to a new place and a new job, so that he did not have to endure the pain of watching Tonks fall in love with a handsome, young wizard in the Auror office, which was what he expected to happen.” - From here.

I’ve been thinking about this excerpt and you know what - nice effort, Remus, but it wouldn’t work. Tonks was as much in love with Remus as he was with her, and romance tales (mostly The Princess Bride) have told me that true love always wins, so let’s imagine what would happen:

If it’s “peacetime” then there is no Voldemort, which means James and Lily are alive, Sirius doesn’t go to jail, let’s give a bit of faith for Peter and say he doesn’t go to the Dark Side, and Remus never loses his friends;
Sirius is an Auror (HC that Sirius I’m-not-like-my-family Black of course would be a dark wizard catcher), James is a famous Chaser and Lily works with Potions;
Lily provides Remus with Wolfsbane Potion, so he is not a danger - and he doesn’t endure horrible transformations (the Marauders still keep him company during full moon, just for old time’s sake);
Without a war and with support from his friends, Remus studies DADA, working as researcher for the Ministry of Magic for dark creatures;
He meets Nymphadora Tonks when she is young, when the Potters ask her to babysit Harry (it happens twice before they realize she and Harry are a much dangerous duo together);
But the Tonks are friends with the Potters (through Sirius), so he sees her in some dinners, nothing unusual. She is just a bright kid;
He doesn’t see her much after she starts Hogwarts and he is off studying, but in 1990 he becomes a professor in Hogwarts;
It’s her last year and she is studying hard to be an Auror (like her favourite cousin), so she is the best student is his class;
Remus notices Tonks (she complained when he called her “Nymphadora”) is clumsy and seems even proner to accidents when he calls her for any reason (her hair turns red when their eyes meet and her friends tease her), but he doesn’t think anything of it really;
Later, other professors will tease how some students have a crush on him (because this Remus has been happier and is much less tired), and he will blush, but will think nothing of this;
He works in Hogwarts for five years, until someone discover he is a werewolf and even though most students love him, he quits because he doesn’t want to put pressure on Dumbledore - some parents complained and that’s enough for him;
James and Sirius try to prank some of these parents but Remus convinces them to let go; he returns to his studies and works as a consultant of DADA for any purposes;
Tonks is always present now because Sirius is her mentor; they make a nice pair working together, though they don’t see to take anything too serious (“Sirius is serious enough for us both", Tonks says, eyes sparkling with joy and Remus can’t help but laugh);
After a while he notices that Tonks comes more and more to their flat (he shares with Sirius, who is an eternal bachelor, of course), even in times she knows Sirius will not be there. Remus doesn’t complain, because she is fun and vivacious and things never seem bored around her;
One night Tonks confesses that she used to have a crush on him on her last year, but she tells him that it happened frequently, he was a popular professor; the other Marauders tease him for it, but when Sirius asks her playfully if it’s over, Tonks answers that she has passed that stage, yes;
That is the first time that it occurs to Remus that even he was her professor for one year, ever since he stopped teaching and has met her again, he doesn’t think of her as his student. She is a young woman now, brave and tenacious, an Auror already, and he admires her;
He tries saying to himself that there is nothing wrong on the fact that he misses her on the days she doesn’t show up, or that he knows it’s her just by the way she knocks on the door;
It’s just because she is always so cheeerful that he enjoys her company, he tells himself. Not because she is beautiful with whenever colour of hair she chooses to wear - he likes her pink hair, though, and when that comes up for some reason in a conversation, he notices that she keeps her hair pink afterwards -, not because she has the brightest laughter he ever heard, not because he enjoys her perfume and mostly not because he’s finding her more and more attractive;
Remus feels happier around her; he’s been happy for a long time now, and how could he not be with the friends - the family - he has, but being with Tonks is something else. His heart beats faster when she is in the same room, he misses her when she is not around and he thinks of her constantly;
He knows that he is falling for her when he returns home one day and Tonks and Sirius are already there, watching some silly movie and throwing popcorns to each other. It’s nothing unusual for them, but it suddenly occurs to Remus that they could be a couple - a perfect normal couple, like she and Remus could never be;
And then Remus can see her future, how she will someday meet a young brave Auror, how they will fall in love and she will make that person that happiest person alive, because that is who she is;
So he stays away, finding solace with the Potters - Lily thinks he is running from something and James knows he is, but they give him space, even as they are concerned - and avoiding Tonks as much as he can;
Except she is there during holidays and Remus wishes it was full moon so he’d have a reason to stay away. But it’s not, so he admires her from afar during Christmas until she corners him in New Year’s Eve and he can’t help but enjoy her presence - it’s just for one night, he thinks, it doesn’t mean anything that they are talking again and that being with her is as easy and good as always. They are just friends, he tells himself, and he can handle how his heart is nearly bursting in her presence, how much he wants to touch her;
Then Tonks mentions something about how handsome Sirius is, and Remus can’t help himself - of course she’d fall for him, he always got the women - until Tonks looks at him as if he is crazy: “Really? You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for, if you weren’t too busy avoiding me”;
Later he will blame the alcohol (even though he didn’t drink and neither did Tonks), but the happiness of knowing she in love with him is overwhelming, so he kisses her - and you know what, it’s New Year, everybody is celebrating, so they’d totally take a step further;
Except the next day Remus feels guilty - they can never have anything, he cannot marry her, he’d not risk passing his condition - so he runs away, going to Dumbledore and volunteering working in a group of runaways werewolves;
It’s dangerous and completely different from anything Remus ever did, from the life he has; he can’t keep contact with his friends except for a few moments and they are all concerned that he is doing this, because he doesn’t have experience at all with other werewolves and Fenrir Greyback is still a menace;
He helps a few of them but Greyback is decided to attack, so in June 1996 there is a conflict between the Aurors and some of the werewolves; the werewolves lose, and when Sirius is explaining to other Aurors that Remus was a spy, Greyback lunches against Remus. Sirius throws himself in front of Remus to protect him and is injured;
Remus accompanies him to St. Mungus’ and there he sees his friends for the first time in months - Lily hugs him tightly, James looks relieved beyond words, Peter is shaking - and then he sees her;
Except Tonks is avoiding looking at him and her hair is mousy brown and she doesnt’ laugh when Sirius makes a joke (“What do you call a lost wolf? A where-wolf!”). She looks as miserable as he feels;
They end up meeting alone outside Sirius’ room at night, though (she is leaving, he’s arriving to keep Srrius company, and Remus wonders if Lily and James arranged that way on purpose), and Tonks asks him if he’s back for good now, if he will stop trying to get himself killed rather than admiting what he feels. He doesn’t answer because he doesn’t know;
His friends corner him when Sirius is discharged. Remus answers that he is too old, too poor and too dangerous for her and James warns him that he’s taking a ridiculous line on this. And Sirius - still weak from his injuries - tells him that the only thing he ever really did to not deserve Tonks was leaving her, that he broke her heart and that Sirius is still mad with him because of that. He tells Remus that he is supposed to be better than that;
Remus is angry with his friends, angry that they don’t understand, and goes to a pub and considers drinking into a stupor, but he just stares at the whisky and doesn’t drink. He thinks of his one night with Tonks and remembers how he didn’t drink that night, how the only blissful obliviousness that night was because he loved her and she loved him back. Love is the only thing he ever valued in life - his friends, his parents and now, Tonks;
So Remus goes to her place; she opens the door and stares at him, and he can see the pain and hope in her eyes, as he mumbles “I am so sorry for - for everything. Can you ever forgive me?”. Tonks nods, but she warns him softly “don’t come unless that’s what you really want, Remus. Don’t come unless you won’t leave me again”.
He pulls her into a hug, feels her familiar scent, and enjoys how she fits so perfectly in his arms. When they kiss again, he knows he won’t leave, not ever.
They will have a proper wedding because his friends wouldn’t allow him anything else (no quiet marriage, because James likes a big party and, as Sirius points out, he is the last Marauder that will ever get married). Later he will panic when Tonks is pregnant but true to his word, he will stay. Edward Lupin will be loved and cherished by his parents and his Marauder uncles.

Sirius forgets he has a human conscience and goes "eheheh I'm a dog now" every time he's Padfoot

“But she wants you.”

Peacetime

Lupin Smiled

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

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Sirius forgets he has a human conscience and goes "eheheh I'm a dog now" every time he's Padfoot

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Peacetime